|December 19, 2021
|According to legend, there are many ghosts residing in the White House, apparitions that go all the way back to President Martin Van Buren. The "Little Magician," as he was called, once allegedly appeared to a trembling Chester Arthur asking a simple question: "how the heck did you get in here?"
President Arthur hid under the covers.
As Christmas Eve evolves into early Christmas morning, I fear that Joe Biden may receive a visit from another spirit; that of Jimmy Carter. Stranger things have happened in the White House. Just ask Bill Clinton.
Anyway, if my intuition is correct, the scene might go this way.
"Jooooooooe, awaken Joe! I've been sent to warn you. Heed what I say!"
"Is that you, Jimmy. I'd know that accent anywhere."
"It is I, Joseph, the ghost of bad policies past. And I have a question: what in tarnation are you doing?"
"No joke. I don't know what I'm doing. Can you help?"
"Jooooooe! Don't you remember the gas lines in the late 1970s? I messed with the energy industry and got my tush kicked!"
"But climate change..."
"Silence! Gas and heating oil price rises have ignited inflation! People are angry, Joe. People are getting hammered financially!"
"If in fact ...."
"It is a fact, Joe. Just look at Tiny Tim. He can no longer afford a Big Mac."
"No, I can't bear it. Tiny Tim denied fast food?"
"And the border, it's wide open. Millions of folks just walking in here. Why, Joe, why?"
"Future Democrat voters, Jimmy. I'm not being facetious."
"Jooooooe, your approval rating with current voters is 9 percent. And can you explain Kamala?"
"Well, they like her less than me. If in fact."
"Joe, look out the window and see the future. There's Tiny Tim wearing a Trump hat. To the right is Nancy Pelosi retiring from the House after your party loses 100 seats next November. And finally, wait, I feel another ghostly presence! Why it's Ronald Reagan."
"Good evening, gentlemen, it's nice to be back in the White House this Christmas morning. It's tough riding horses in Santa Barbara when you're invisible."
"Do you have words of wisdom for me too, President Reagan?"
"Yes, Joe, I do. Just keep doing what you're doing!"
|Posted by Bill O'Reilly at 1:40 AM
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